SOAR Continues - Year II - Leadership

SOAR began its second year with a terrific presentation on December 7 by Dr. Mark Hyman. Eighth graders learned how to handle a dentist's drill and each child held a drill and drilled one tooth. Discussions centered around developing a business model for running a health care business.

Today's program was taught by Dr. David Altman, Vice President of Research and Development at the Center for Creative Leadership in Greensboro. Dave opened the session with a "self-awareness test" where students were asked to count basketball passes they saw on a video clip. The class was astonished that each child missed the moon-walking bear in the video, and so the message was that "it's easy to miss something you are not looking for" came across very clearly.

Dave asked students to rate their leadership capability now and in the future. A greater percentage of the class gave themselves high ratings for leadership in future years. Several activities followed, where the kids chose cards and described positive and negative examples of effective leadership ideas. Zippy said that a "top dog" took what he should share. Noah chose "not my problem," explaining that leaders have to take responsibility for their actions.

"When you think about being a leader...which quote speaks to you?" was Dave's next question, as he herded the eighth graders to a table full of pithy quotations about leadership.

Haddas said, "You need to know what you're doing, not just think about it," explaining why she chose her quote.
Sydney added, "You have to learn about things; you're not just born with leadership."
Zippy noted, "To be a good leader, you have to have an adventurous side and a serious side."
Celia spoke carefully, "When you do something you enjoy with people you enjoy, you're a more effective leader."
Eli pondered, and said, "Everybody has a path; you just have to follow it."
Sergey: If you are what you do best, and if you are good, so be it. If you are not very good, do not strive to be what you are not."
Noah commented, "I always feel like I'm in tune, go out there and do what I'm going to do - so don't waste a day."

After photographs, metaphors and quotes, Dave introduced a new fragrance test, asking students to pick one candle and reflect on insight it evokes. "How does it relate to leadership?" he asked the students.

Haddas thought her smell prompted peacefulness, calm and uniqueness. Sydney talked about calm and being openminded. Comfortable, homelike and relaxing, were sense Zippy felt from her scented candle. "Strong yet calm" was Celia's description. "You reap what you sow," was Eli's comment on leadership - emanating from a fruit scent. "I implement what I know to describe this smell - a normal rainy day." said Sergey. "You have to be confident to be a leader," said Noah. "It smells like nature," said Maxx.

"Write a six word short story," said Dave, citing the six word short story by Ernest Hemingway: "For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn." He asked students to base the short story on the metaphors, quotes and pictures they collected, thinking about a leadership philosophy. A selection of the "short stories" appears below.

Sergey's story: There is no going back now.
Celia: Be strong,yet careful. No giving up.
Zippy: Be a good leader, you'll help.
Sydney: Helping hands are how to succeed.
Eli: First prove, then achieve, finally inspire.
Noah: To be a leader, must grow.

Final words from Maxx - which neatly sum up the session: "Trees can sprout through land uncultivated."

Summary and Conclusion of SOAR

Samuel said "You have to be confident and have initiative." These words summarized his leadership learning experience through SOAR. Today, students also discussed extroverts and introverts, judgment versus perception, and reviewed a variety of issues brought forth in the leadership series.

To sum up, Susan emphasized that everyone does things differently and that what seems natural to one person may be approached differently by someone else. Good leaders, she said, are not judgmental. Students gave Susan some feedback on the questions that were asked in their leadership journals. Evan said, "You always feel the same when you go by your values and when you do not." Jessie said that it was easy to answer what she learned from each day's class, but that the questions about living by your values were more difficult for her. Matt suggested doing the values clarification exercise a second time after several additional sessions. "A good leader will ask for feedback," said Susan.

Students watched "Celebrate What's Right With the World." Susan said that one of her favorite types of leadership is servant leadership, where the leader brings out the best in everyone else. At the end of your B'nai Shalom career, she said, "Your world is full of possibilities and you can celebrate what is right with your world."

Susan asked each student come up with a personal goal for leadership development, listing two strengths, and the two things that are areas for growth, noting one goal of to accomplish by April 30.

Some of the goals students shared:
Zach: "Speak up more."
Matt: "Use my talking skills at better times."
Kendall: "Keep an open mind more often."
Jessie: "Be more non-judgmental about people. "

At the end of the session, students evaluated the leadership portion of SOAR. A summary will be posted in April.

Vision

David Altman, president of the Board of Trustees, was today's guest speaker. He got the students' attention right away by recounting how he challenged a member of the Class of '06 to run up the steep snake path of Masada at 4:30 AM during the 8th grade Israel trip. Unfortunately for the proud students, David won the race! His challenge to this class was "Articulate your own vision for leadership!"

In order to wake everyone up and get the brain gears moving, Dave shared some definitions for leadership from Daniel Gilbert, Henry Ford, Greg Mortenson and Mohammed Yunus, a Nobel Peace Prize winner from Bangladesh. Humans, unlike any other animal, can think of the future, said Gilbert. Ford, on the other hand, had a vision of replacing horses with a motorized device - the car. Yunus was an economist with a vision to end poverty by starting a bank to loan money to poor women to start business. Students were familialr with Greg Mortenson, a climber trying to climb up K2; his vision was that poor girls in Pakistan could be educated if there were schools for them. Mortenson connected with the local villagers and so his schools were not destroyed by the Taliban.

After giving a few examples of people with well-defined visions, Dave turned to Martin Luther King Jr. and his dream - or vision. Students watched a clip of MLK's famous speech, identifying key phrases that made it "stick" such as "I have a dream" and "free at last, free at last." Students sorted through stacks of famous phrases, choosing and sharing those that were meaningful to them. This gave them some ideas about the power of a few well-chosen words and phrases.

Next, Dave showed the "Lost Generation" clip in which phrases are read forward (negative impact) and backwards (positive impact). "Words make a difference," he said, "reversing them changes their meaning." As an example, he shared the web site wordle.net. Wordle makes word clouds, (graphic pictures) with words. The size of a word is a representation of how many times the word occurs. In the mission of B'nai Shalom, the words "Jewish" and "students" are most prominent, followed by "academic" and "community."

Dave distributed quotes and asked students to explain what they liked about them in terms of vision. He told the story of Hemingway, who wrote a short story in six words: "For sale baby shoes never worn," and shared the slogan for Navy Seals: "Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast. " Students discussed various interpretations of the two "short stories before writing six words each that summarize/epitomize their visions for their own leadership in the years to come.

A few "short stories" of their visions are noted below:
"Always keep taking on new challenges." (Chase)
"To the future we all go." (Russell)
"Life is a mission. What to do?" (Dima)
"Keep trying. You'll be successful." (Matt)
"If failure, assess and reattempt situation." (Jessie)
"Be yourself, no one else can." (Kendall)
"Work hard, have fun, breathe air." (Jake)
"Use what you learn. Make mistakes." (Jennie)
"Live carefully, choose carefully, live good." (Evan S.)
"Think outside the box, or else." (Evan B.)
"Who am I? I don't know." (Micah)
"Learners always have an open mind." (Zach)

Giving and Receiving Feedback

Do people trust more what you say - or what you do? This was the provocative question with which Dr. Renn began today's session. Dr Renn told the eighth graders, "What people want to see in you is what you do. Behavior is what people watch and determines what you really believe. When you are inconsistent in what you say and what you do, trust issues develop. Your behavior leaves a lasting impression."

As the students contemplated his words, Mike asked, "How can we help ourselves and others understand our own behavior? Feedback in school includes grades (information on how you did) and teacher comments. You get feedback all day long in school and also from parents at home. This feedback may be positive or negative. Friends give feedback as well and can be the most difficult to deal with. To give and receive feedback, you need will and skill." "You have to have the courage to speak up and tell them," said Kendall. "It takes courage to give and to receive feedback," said Dr. Renn. "We are reluctant to hear negative feedback. It is hard to teach the will to grow and develop and get better, but we can teach the skills to be better at giving and receiving feedback."

Russell said feedback "can be used to get someone to stop something that he is doing." Dr. Renn added, "You also might give feedback to get someone to start doing something or to continue. Stop, start and continue are the three reasons for giving feedback. This assumes that the person giving feedback wants to help the other grow. Sometimes, however, giving feedback is self-serving. If someone is being mean, you must give him feedback that is specific to tell him what he is doing that is mean. When people do not understand feedback, they do not know how to change behavior. Effective feedback tells the behaviors that you want someone to stop doing. "

Dr Renn shared the SBI model: Situation - Behavior - Impact. Describe the situation specifically, note the specific behavior, tell how it made you feel. This offers a chance to do something differently - something specific.

Dr. Renn next distributed sticky notes with instructions to think about a situation where students wanted to give someone feedback: yellow for situation, green for behavior, purple for impact. Students shared a few examples:

Micah: S: Monday, 1:30 P.E., people hitting each other with birdies. Impact was saying stop and giving negative feedback.
Matt: Last Thursday, basketball, officiating was bad; giving other team advantage.
Zach: On the way to art, someone got me in trouble for falling on top of me, impact was getting me in trouble, felt person was trying to get me in trouble.

Mikes stressed that situation is about time and place - the scene of the behavior. This is important for clarity so the person giving feedback understands the scene. He said, "Things that individuals do can often be expanded to include others in a school environment. This compels you to give feedback in order to not e a part of the situation. This is important in schools in particular and makes it harder to give feedback. Other people's behavior has a daily influence. Feedback is about feelings, and this is uncomfortable for many of us. Giving feedback is easier than receiving it. These are responsibilities that we have. You can decide to hear the feedback or not - and change behavior or not. Use the SBI model to give feedback." Dr. Renn gave students a homework assignment - to try the SBI model with someone in the next week.

And a short visit to jail

Leadership training includes learning about models to emulate - and pitfalls to avoid.

Last Wednesday, the eighth grade spent several hours visiting Elon Law School and Guilford County Jail. Below are a few excerpts from student journals.

"When walking from Elon Law School to the jail, I started thinking about what the jail might be. I came to the conclusion that it would be very scary and that I would have to brace myself....If only everyone cold talk this tour and be right there with jail life...it certainly changes the views I have on this whole subject." (Matt)

"...this trip made me realize that under no conditions would I ever want to end up in one of those cells. After seeing where all of the women were kept, I was shocked. They had absolutely nothing to do. You had two options, to sleep or read. I could never imagine having to do that every day for up to two years." (Jessie)

"...everything was very industrialized. We were completely surrounded by concrete all of the time and the colors of the pain on the walls were unsettling at best. I couldn't help but notice the contrast between his jail and the early medieval cell of Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs." (Samuel)

"Seeing the inmates in person was frightening and inspirational. It showed me what will happen to you if you break the law. It made me think about the consequences for my actions." Russell

"We talked to students...who told us a little about what they wanted to do after finishing law school and why they chose to do it." Zach

"Visiting the jail really changed my perspective." (Jennie)

Thanks to Steve Friedland for organizing this trip for BSDS eighth grade.

The Roles We Play

Leadership training continued with a session devoted to role-playing.

Cate Wineburg visited SOAR this morning to discuss the roles students play in their peer group. She assigned roles to six students, distributing headbands to define positions for everyone except the person playing the role (who was told to "act normally"). She set the stage: Friday afternoon, ready to go home and get ready for Shabbat, exhausted from a hard week even though soccer practice and play practice looms before day's end. Despite the trying situation, the head of school (this is part of the role play), asks the class to meet and talk about the upcoming class trip. Students wore headbands defining their roles, but did not know who they were playing. Observers were asked to watch the role play. Players were asked to respond to each speaker according to the role listed on the player's head. Roles included: most popular, athletic team player, leader of the class, comedian, bully, a serious student.

Cate asked each player what it was like to have peers respond in their assigned roles. Players said that it felt strange to play a role that was uncomfortable or unfamiliar. The assigned "leader" and "popular student" acknowledged that they enjoyed playing their roles, but the"bully" felt that no one was paying attention to him and that he was pushed to the side when giving his opinion. The observers noted that they saw some of the players in a different light because of the roles assigned in this exercise.

Students talked about the bully role, adding that the bully could also be the comedian, the good student, and the class leader, possibly motivating the group to go in a different (and less positive) direction.

Cate asked what roles students play out of school and wondered if students expected role switches in high school. Evan mentioned that they would go from being eighth grade leaders to "lowly freshmen" in a new school. Matt and Evan S. thought about new opportunities and the chance to change and get a fresh start. Cate taught the concept of role freeze or role grip - locking of someone into a particular role without allowing for potential change and growth. She encouraged students to try to get to know new people beyond first impressions.
"Leadership," Cate said, "means stretching beyond the comfort zone to get to know people who may be different from oneself."She referred to non-verbal cues as 90% of communication and talked about differences in personal intention and impact on others.

Though they enjoyed the role play, students also began to reflect on their roles (past and current) in the class and how these roles will change and develop in the coming months as they transition to high school. We also spoke briefly of the upcoming Israel trip and the impact of "role freeze" versus allowing for possibility of change in new surroundings.

Alignment of Head and Heart

Ronnie Grabon started the day by reviewing values students chose as important. Students listed family, friends, freedom, achievement, happiness, integrity, love and fun as important values. "Values influence decisions," she said, and then asked who thought of themselves as extroverted or introverted. Students had some difficulty pegging themselves as one or the other. "What do you think about when deciding what high school to attend?" Ronnie asked, telling students to write down all of their considerations.

One group of students listed diversity, academics, bigger environment, closeness, and more friends as their main considerations. The second group listed education, future, social environment, sports, "where will I end up," size, enjoyment, friends, "who I am," "what I want to do there." The first group's list was smaller, more specific, while the second group had broader topics and bigger questions. This, she said, is the difference between sensing and intuition on the Myers Briggs. The first group has a sensing preference (details) and as "intuitives" they tend to look at the big picture instead of the details. Ronnie asked students to think if there were times that they missed either the details or the "big picture." The intuitives said that they noticed this to be true for them.

The groups were then divided (unbeknownst to them) into "thinkers" and "feelers" (Myers Briggs) and told that they needed to influence their parents to purchase something they needed to have. The "feelers" said they needed to state their case, come up with a way to please both sides, "start fighting" (use coercion), cry, pout, or if necessary, throw tantrums. The thinkers said that "they'd make it up on the spot" and "everything they say, object." Evan said he'd do chores and make suggestions. Russell suggested asking politely, showing responsibility, and state reasons the desired object might help. Ronnie explained that "thinkers" tend to be very rational and give a lot of reasons, while "feelers" use feelings to make their arguments. "Thinking and feeling" she said, "are used for making decisions." The key is to find alignment of one's head and one's heart.

Students then examined the results of their own Myers Briggs assessments while Ronnie explained how the results were tallied. Ronnie encouraged students to think about these results as they go through their day and decide whether or not they accurately reflected how they saw themselves. "When you find yourself approaching a problem from a feelings perspective, you are likely to be stronger in the 'feelings' category" she added. Ronnie handed out an explanation sheet for the four categories and asked students to think about what was true about them. "Does it really describe you?" she asked. "The instrument only tells you how you prefer to act, but it does not mean that you can't act the other way," she said. Students pondered these issues of self-examination as they left class, with instructions to reflect on what they learned in their leadership journals.

Extroverts and Introverts Communicate

Joyce Richman joined SOAR as guest speaker on Febuary 23. A former 8th grade Jewish day school teacher in Beverly Hills, she was delighted to visit B'nai Shalom. She remembered doing some substitute teaching at B'nai Shalom in the early days of the school's history. Joyce now does career counseling for adults and leadership training.

Joyce referred back to the Myers Brigg personal style inventory completed by the class several weeks ago when describing extroverts and introverts. "Introverts," she said, "think before they speak. Extroverts do not." Students were asked to define themselves as introverts or extroverts. As they raised their hands, Nicole checked their self-assessments with their actual Myers Briggs results.

Extroverts in the class suggested that introverts were "shy." Joyce differentiated between introverted and shy, and reminded students to be mindful of the source of the introverted behavior - thinking before speaking. Extroverts might want to say, "I haven't thought this through yet but..." letting the listeners know that they have not yet finished their thought. "Effective communication," she said, "will have enormous influence on those around you. Who is a good communicator and what does that person do that is so effective?" Samuel suggested that President Barak Obama is a good communicator, using clear language to discuss complex issues. Matt suggested that our constant exposure and familiarity with his style made us find him a good speaker. In other words, the relationship between the president and the public - visibility - made him a good communicator to his audience.

Students learned that leading and communicating require visibility. Jessie added that the president's body language made him a good communicator. Kendell mentioned eye contact as a key way to develop a relationship with the person who is talking, adding that "Eye contact makes you listen more beause of the physical connection." Dima noted that eye contact was tuned in to the rest of the body language.

Joyce cautioned the students to be mindful of their own body language: crossing arms indicating closed emotions; open arms indicating openness to conversation. "Communicating is about negotiation," she said. After Matt said that body language can indicate being genuine, Joyce asked the students to think about the individuals they know who connect with them in a genuine way and use them as models. Dima suggested that Matt is a good communicator because he uses language that all are able to understand. Smiling, nodding, encouraged the relationship building that Matt does. Joyce mentioned that body language may also work against the intended message, such as someone who nods when he/she really means, "no."

Students discussed that some individuals take in information through their tactile senses. People who are intuitive pick up information through sensing. This may conflict with people who trust facts. These two groups may conflict in discussing information. Students were asked whether or they defined themselves as intuitive or fact-driven.

Joyce asked students to define good communication techniques. Listening to others, commenting on the opinions of others (building on others' comments without negativity), good eye contact, not forcing someone to say something until he/she is ready were all added to the list. Joyce connected leadership to mindfiulness - because others observe what we do.

Judy challenged the class to observe their teachers for the rest of the day and note any non-verbal comminication messages they received.

Diversity in Leadership

Johan Naude, Coaching Talent Manager for CCL in Greensboro, visited SOAR this morning. Today's topic was diversity - appreciating and respecting various perspectives contributing to the success of a team. In the first class activity, Johan instructed students to find objects from A to Z in the science room. Moving slowly during this 8 AM session, students gradually warmed up towards zipping around the room searching for creative answers to Johan's challenge. After piling the A-Z objects on a desk, students noted that the activity resulted in diverse solutions to the question - i.e. renaming objects to fit the letter and working together to come up with answers.

What does it mean to be different? Johan noted that when one identifies with a group, one often gravitates those with similar opinions. He compared working with a homogenous group to the advantages of working with a heterogenous team.

Johan then asked, "Are intentions observed by others - or behaviors?" Students filled out the MBTI last week, with the results serving as the basis for discussion of intentions and behaviors. Johan advised the students to be intential (using kavannah) in their choices of behavior. "The more you understand who you are," he said, "the more likely you are to change your behavior to achieve the desired result."

In a second activity, students were divided into two groups based on their MBTI results. Each group received a bag of M&Ms with instructions to build a house. The two houses were quite different (see the pictures), and students spent some time reflecting on the differences between them. The "judging preference" table took an organized approach to building their house, dividing jobs between them. The "perceiving preference" group took a more free flowing approach and quickly built their house, comfortably adding additional pieces. All of the students agreed that bringing aspects of the two approaches into a single project might bring about the best result.

Hebrew Wisdom and Leadership: Authenticity and Self-Awareness

Rabbi Tzipi Radonsky broached the subject of waking up in the morning to a group of sleepy eighth graders this morning. She divided the class into "alefs" and "bets" and asked them to describe how they started the day. They then evaluated how authentic they were in describing the day to each other, recognizing that familiarity allows for greater authenticity.

Jessie said, "Authenticity and self-awareness are characteristics that leaders should have." Tzipi answered with the story of Zusia and Elimelech. "When I get to heaven, they will ask me why I wasn't more like Zusia," explaining that the rabbis picked Zusia to tell the story of authenticity and to emphasize that each person must be himself or herself.

Tzipi reminded students that Moshe was told, "Take your shoes off your feet; you are standing on holy ground." "In the Torah," she said, "every word is there for a reason." Why, then, are the words "off your feet" necessary? The Hebrew word for shoe, "na-al" נעל comes from the root "to lock, or to hold in," and the word for foot, "regel" רגל comes from the Hebrew word for "pattern." Tzipi continued, "To be on holy ground, then, is to be authentic. Know the patterns that hold you. Find your comfortable patterns."

Leadership depends on core values. Students chose their top three values in yesterday's session; Tzipi reminded them that these may change over time. "Each one of you," she said, "has a mission."

Students also participated in an exercise called Social Identity Map. They filled out sheets defining their social identities, marking those characteristics they thought would make them good leaders as well as those that might challenge them in leadership.

A few student ideas of what attributes would make them better leaders:

• Dima: a good education


• Jessie: do well in school


• Russell: academics
• Jake: be a good friend


• Evan S.: a good education


• Evan B.: being smart
• Micah: being 13 - young is what I am


• Jennie: education
• Matt: friendliness
• Samuel: education.

Tzipi reminded them that leaders need left-brain and right-brain attributes in order to truly succeed at leadership.Students mentioned characteristics that might inhibit leadership: youth, talking a lot (not listening), bad (physical) vision, confusion, place in family (youngest child).

As the hour drew to a close, students examined their core values and identified those that might be useful in leading others: knowledge, self-respect, happiness, achievement, wisdom ("being smart"), patience, independence.

What is Leadership?

Eighth grade SOAR met today to learn about leadership skills from Susan Pinsker, adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership. This session kicks off the second half of SOAR, focusing on leadership development. Students defined a leader as:

• Someone who leads and has followers


• Someone who thinks for him or herself


• A person who makes decisions independently


• Someone who is trustworthy


• A person who sets an example


• A person who is independent


• "The boss"

"Leadership is the art of motivating a group of people to act towards a common goal," Susan taught, before teaching the tool of "mind-mapping." This idea was developed by Tony Buzan in 1971. After dividing into two groups, students used mind-mapping to visualize what a leader is - and is not.

Team Chance's mind map for leadership included trust to reach a common goal, imagination and an open mind, knowledge, taking charge and making change, idea and always thinking, setting an example and using one's heart.

The "non-leader" team said that immaturity, lack of seriousness, assertiveness and independence impeded leadership. They also pointed to bullying, passivity as negatives. Those who cannot take charge, are unreliable and confused will not rise to leadership, according to the non-leader team.

Both mind-maps will be re-visited at the end of the course to see if student positions have changed.

What happens when a leader is unethical? The discussion turned to sports figures and unethical behavior. Students debated whether or not Tiger Woods was a leader, and whether his charitable giving outweighed immoral behavior in other arenas. An exercise in values helped them determine their priorities. Students sorted cards into three categories: always valued, seldom valued and never valued, eventually narrowing cards into the top ten, top five values and finally the top three values. Susan gave each student a journal to use for reflection on today's values discussion. Students wrote their top three values on the first page of the notebook. Homework was assigned. "When did your behavior this week match your top three values? What did you notice about when your behavior matched your top three values? What did you notice when your behavior did not match your top three values?" Students were asked to remain observant about their own behavior in order to chart their leadership development.

Susan bid the students farewell until the ninth leadership session in which she will sum up the course.

Q & A: Pre-school By-Law Amendment

In this post, I'll addressed the FAQs (frequently asked questions) about the board-proposed pre-school by-law amendment.

Q. Were any pre-school parents on the board that proposed this amendment?

A. Four current pre-school parents sit on the Board of Trustees, as well as 10 former pre-school parents.

Q. Why weren't pre-school parents included in last year's parent survey?

A. The parent survey was a national survey conducted by Measuring Success through PEJE: the Partnership for Excellence in Jewish Education. The survey was for day school parents of students in Grades K-12 only.

Q. Will financial assistance be given to non-Jewish pre-school families?

A. B'nai Shalom does not offer financial assistance for any pre-school family - Jewish or non-Jewish.

Q. Did B'nai Shalom lose money with Madoff?

A. No. BSDS did not have any investments with Madoff.

Q. Will the teacher/student ratios change?

A. No. Student/teacher ratios are already well below state recommendations.

Q. Music and art were cut this year from pre-school. What will happen next year?

A. The art program remains the same as in previous years with pre-K children working with the art specialist in her classroom. The other children are too small for the stools in the art room and have art in their classrooms with their regular teachers. Schedules will be re-arranged so that the music specialist will be teaching in pre-school next fall.

Q. Will the pre-school curriculum be affected by this proposal?

A. No. The pre-school curriculum, including Jewish life cycle and holidays, will remain the same.

Q. What if a non-Jewish family wants to continue in kindergarten?

A. The current proposal is for pre-school admissions alone.

Q. How will B'nai Shalom monitor kashrut?

A. The school kashrut policy will not change.

Q. Will the mission of the school stay the same?

A. Yes - unequivocably.

Goals and Vision (excerpts from remarks on Jan. 13)

Thank you for coming this evening. Your presence reflects your passion and love for B'nai Shalom - our community's day school.

The overarching goal of the Board of Trustees is to assure that a viable, dynamic Jewish day school will continue to flourish in Greensboro, North Carolina, just as it has for the past 39 years.

Next year, we will celebrate the end of our first 40 years!

I want to tell you how sorry I am about the angst this issue has caused for some of you. In retrospect, we would have envisioned a different process - one that had a meeting like this one prior to the board vote. What happened ended generating mistrust and rumors. We hope that one of the outcomes of tonight's meeting is to design a way that this will not happen again.

I envision B'nai Shalom's graduates - and there will be many - as products of a school of rigorous academic achievement, supported by values and character education based on Judaism's legal and ethical source texts. Our graduates will deeply identify with Jewish religious tradition through shared Hebrew language and a community of Jewish culture. Thanks to this rich background, they will be solidly grounded in their ethical views and moral commitments, and likely to achieve contentment and success in their professions and family lives. They will feel a strong sense of belonging in their school, their communities and their culture.

The shared experience of a "B'nai Shalom education" will stay with them always. When they reach high school and college, they will feel strongly connected to their fellow alumni as well as other day school graduates. In their adult communities, they will become leaders in the Jewish arena as well as active in local causes. They will continue to love and support the State of Israel. In short, they will achieve academic excellence and internalize moral values in order to reach full potential as learners, thinkers and leaders.

By Law Amendment: Background Information

Last night's forum to discuss the board-proposed by-law amendment was attended by over 50 participants, including 22 pre-school parents, 16 trustees and 12 faculty and staff. Facilitators Susan Pinsker and Sue Simmons outlined the objectives of the meeting, set ground rules and established roles before presenting the agenda.

The history of the board process was presented at the meeting. Highlights are noted below:

• The issue of non-Jewish children at B'nai Shalom is not a new topic. In the 70's and 80's, a few non-Jewish children were enrolled at school and some continued throughout the program. Current parents who are also alumni of BSDS remember non-Jewish children in their classes. The school was very small at this time.


• From 2005-2007, the board studied this issue and appointed an ad hoc task force, chaired by Jeff Segal and populated by (then) current (Jewish and non-Jewish) parents, alumni parents, board members and donors.


• The ad-hoc committee researched Jewish day schools in the U.S., Europe and South Africa and conducted a national survey to which over 30 school responded.


• A number of Jewish day schools do admit non-Jewish children in pre-school and beyond.


• After many meetings of spirited discussion, the ad-hoc committee could not come to a consensus and recommended that the board table the discussion.


• In 2008, the board voted to allow children of non-Jewish staff and faculty to attend BSDS Pre-school. This was an experimental move and not a proposal to amend the school by-laws. The experiment was reviewed in May, 2009 and the board agreed to continue for another year.


• The current issue has been in active board discussion since 2008, fueled by parent inquiries, non-Jewish children at Camp Little Star and Indigo Star, parent interest in diversity and financial benefits to the school budget.


• On December 4, 2009, the board recommended to amend the by-laws to admit non-Jewish children to B'nai Shalom's pre-school on a space-available basis.