Do people trust more what you say - or what you do? This was the provocative question with which Dr. Renn began today's session. Dr Renn told the eighth graders, "What people want to see in you is what you do. Behavior is what people watch and determines what you really believe. When you are inconsistent in what you say and what you do, trust issues develop. Your behavior leaves a lasting impression."
As the students contemplated his words, Mike asked, "How can we help ourselves and others understand our own behavior? Feedback in school includes grades (information on how you did) and teacher comments. You get feedback all day long in school and also from parents at home. This feedback may be positive or negative. Friends give feedback as well and can be the most difficult to deal with. To give and receive feedback, you need will and skill." "You have to have the courage to speak up and tell them," said Kendall. "It takes courage to give and to receive feedback," said Dr. Renn. "We are reluctant to hear negative feedback. It is hard to teach the will to grow and develop and get better, but we can teach the skills to be better at giving and receiving feedback."
Russell said feedback "can be used to get someone to stop something that he is doing." Dr. Renn added, "You also might give feedback to get someone to start doing something or to continue. Stop, start and continue are the three reasons for giving feedback. This assumes that the person giving feedback wants to help the other grow. Sometimes, however, giving feedback is self-serving. If someone is being mean, you must give him feedback that is specific to tell him what he is doing that is mean. When people do not understand feedback, they do not know how to change behavior. Effective feedback tells the behaviors that you want someone to stop doing. "
Dr Renn shared the SBI model: Situation - Behavior - Impact. Describe the situation specifically, note the specific behavior, tell how it made you feel. This offers a chance to do something differently - something specific.
Dr. Renn next distributed sticky notes with instructions to think about a situation where students wanted to give someone feedback: yellow for situation, green for behavior, purple for impact. Students shared a few examples:
Micah: S: Monday, 1:30 P.E., people hitting each other with birdies. Impact was saying stop and giving negative feedback.
Matt: Last Thursday, basketball, officiating was bad; giving other team advantage.
Zach: On the way to art, someone got me in trouble for falling on top of me, impact was getting me in trouble, felt person was trying to get me in trouble.
Mikes stressed that situation is about time and place - the scene of the behavior. This is important for clarity so the person giving feedback understands the scene. He said, "Things that individuals do can often be expanded to include others in a school environment. This compels you to give feedback in order to not e a part of the situation. This is important in schools in particular and makes it harder to give feedback. Other people's behavior has a daily influence. Feedback is about feelings, and this is uncomfortable for many of us. Giving feedback is easier than receiving it. These are responsibilities that we have. You can decide to hear the feedback or not - and change behavior or not. Use the SBI model to give feedback." Dr. Renn gave students a homework assignment - to try the SBI model with someone in the next week.
As the students contemplated his words, Mike asked, "How can we help ourselves and others understand our own behavior? Feedback in school includes grades (information on how you did) and teacher comments. You get feedback all day long in school and also from parents at home. This feedback may be positive or negative. Friends give feedback as well and can be the most difficult to deal with. To give and receive feedback, you need will and skill." "You have to have the courage to speak up and tell them," said Kendall. "It takes courage to give and to receive feedback," said Dr. Renn. "We are reluctant to hear negative feedback. It is hard to teach the will to grow and develop and get better, but we can teach the skills to be better at giving and receiving feedback."
Russell said feedback "can be used to get someone to stop something that he is doing." Dr. Renn added, "You also might give feedback to get someone to start doing something or to continue. Stop, start and continue are the three reasons for giving feedback. This assumes that the person giving feedback wants to help the other grow. Sometimes, however, giving feedback is self-serving. If someone is being mean, you must give him feedback that is specific to tell him what he is doing that is mean. When people do not understand feedback, they do not know how to change behavior. Effective feedback tells the behaviors that you want someone to stop doing. "
Dr Renn shared the SBI model: Situation - Behavior - Impact. Describe the situation specifically, note the specific behavior, tell how it made you feel. This offers a chance to do something differently - something specific.
Dr. Renn next distributed sticky notes with instructions to think about a situation where students wanted to give someone feedback: yellow for situation, green for behavior, purple for impact. Students shared a few examples:
Micah: S: Monday, 1:30 P.E., people hitting each other with birdies. Impact was saying stop and giving negative feedback.
Matt: Last Thursday, basketball, officiating was bad; giving other team advantage.
Zach: On the way to art, someone got me in trouble for falling on top of me, impact was getting me in trouble, felt person was trying to get me in trouble.
Mikes stressed that situation is about time and place - the scene of the behavior. This is important for clarity so the person giving feedback understands the scene. He said, "Things that individuals do can often be expanded to include others in a school environment. This compels you to give feedback in order to not e a part of the situation. This is important in schools in particular and makes it harder to give feedback. Other people's behavior has a daily influence. Feedback is about feelings, and this is uncomfortable for many of us. Giving feedback is easier than receiving it. These are responsibilities that we have. You can decide to hear the feedback or not - and change behavior or not. Use the SBI model to give feedback." Dr. Renn gave students a homework assignment - to try the SBI model with someone in the next week.
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